In the next few posts my blog is turning into my personal online diary of sorts. My mind and soul sometimes just needs to "talk it out" yes, I talk to myself frequently (and my sister too)! Full conversations at times, yes, me being my own therapist!
How's Layton? Layton has shown such amazing strength, resilience, tenacity, adventure, courage, he is wise and mature beyond his years (yes, he can slip into behavior reminding me he's 6 and a little boy yet) he has made my heart swell with pride, love, compassion and everything good a mother can say about her child. We have had a few bumps in the 4 week road with diabetes but Layton has handled each one with grace. Layton has taught me how to be strong and push self doubt to the side. In 4 weeks, he has only had 5-6 bouts of self pity and sulking - less than 1 hour in total combined length. Me....I've shed hours worth of tears for him.
His self pity bouts are 100% human, normal and natural and very far and few between...
1. The realization Type I diabetes is forever. Frequent blood tests and shots are a new normal.
2. No one gave him diabetes and he can't give anyone diabetes.
3. No more liquid sugar (no fruit juice, no Gatorade, no regular pop)
4. Dr visit + Denver trip + no party = CRAPPY BIRTHDAY
5. Not being able to eat / snack when he feels like it (we need to keep a regular meal / snack schedule due to insulin) we are all getting better at not grabbing a bite or a snack just because it's there.
He has had several firsts, many are mixed emotion but not self pity
1. First weekend getaway with Mom and Dad sans siblings (the initial weekend we tried to do kid friendly stuff to remind him and us KID first, diabetes second. We went shopping, to the movie, thru the "fun" car wash, played at the park, went swimming, ate out)
2. First hospital stay and sick day learning (a whole separate post)
3. First class party - one of his best buddies' parents took on the food and drink for the part to make everything Layton possible and not single him out at all. She is a close friend of mine and her actions moved me beyond words. She went above and beyond plus being a caring friend to me through everything. She has asked many questions learning along side of us knowing Layton will spend many many hours at her house playing and hanging out in the years to come.
Life will continue to challenge us. Before every shot Layton takes a deep breath and blows it out to prepare. After every shot there are high fives and hugs. After the last shot everyday I hug him and say "this is one more day down of shots" My hope and prayer each day is for strength, grace and a cure for diabetes. We authorized additional vials of blood from him for research, plus later this week Julia and Lincoln will be tested as part of a research trial. A blood test may seem harsh to some but for us it's peace of mind. An old saying "don't ask the question you don't want the answer to" this question we might not want the answer to, but we need to know.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Expect the Unexcpected
If the last 365 days has taught me anything it is to expect the unexpected. Layton turned 6 January 23rd. He was also diagnosed with Type 1 juvenile onset diabetes, same day. Friday afternoon at 2:13 pm.
Initially a huge flood of tears shared with our Dr, a fellow mother, wishing it was a different diagnosis. We spent the next 90 minutes waiting and running additional tests hoping the outcome was not diabetes. Layton watched a movie not sure why he was still sitting in the room, he was so innocent, looking forward to pizza and wings sporting his new Peyton Manning jersey. Saturday was set to be his first "friend" birthday part; a bowling extravaganza with Bronco's cake and Hug juice barrels (his favorite). I silently sobbed and prayed waiting for Evan to arrive as we could discuss the next steps. Evan arrived and we took Layton for walk to tell him; it was confusing for a 6 year old. Heck, it was a lot to process as a parent.
Our Dr came back in, luckily he wasn't in DKA so we didn't have to be hospitalized that night but did have to be in Denver by 9 am Saturday morning. Yep, MOTHER of the YEAR had to cancel his birthday party....it sucked for him and me. He has since reminded me frequently how crappy his birthday was and I agree! We did go for pizza and wings with a bonus ceremonial cupcake with 6 candles to top the night off. We shut the lights off while we lit his 6 candles, he devoured and savored the treat right down to licking the cupcake paper clean.
Saturday morning we were in for an early drive to Denver, on the road by 5 not knowing what the day and coming days would hold. We attended class with three other families who had children also diagnosed on Friday, we quickly bonded and became cheerleaders for each other! Saturday was "survival" training. What is Type 1, what is insulin, how do you check blood sugars using a meter, how do you administer insulin, what is glucagon, and the list goes on, in 5 short hours we received an enormous amount of data pertaining to Layton and his new lifestyle! We were then turned loose for the rest of Saturday and Sunday set to return Monday morning for additional classes. The first day we fumbled through, figuring out how to run the meter, administer shots, timing food, new snacks, exercise, playtime, maybe eat a balanced diet (kinda laughable being on the road in a hotel) but we stuck together, bonded and learned together.
Saturday night was the first time Layton had felt full and thirst quenched for a few weeks. Plus he was dry all night long, it was amazing how quick he came around. After the initial tears, meltdown and anxiety of testing and the first shot Layton has been Amazingly strong and positive. he knows the shots help him feel like his old self again. Those first two days our chatty, endless energy, wound up little man came back.
Our journey, our story with diabetes is just beginning. The first few days were a rollercoaster of emotions, we are so extremely blessed by loving, giving, caring family and friends.
Initially a huge flood of tears shared with our Dr, a fellow mother, wishing it was a different diagnosis. We spent the next 90 minutes waiting and running additional tests hoping the outcome was not diabetes. Layton watched a movie not sure why he was still sitting in the room, he was so innocent, looking forward to pizza and wings sporting his new Peyton Manning jersey. Saturday was set to be his first "friend" birthday part; a bowling extravaganza with Bronco's cake and Hug juice barrels (his favorite). I silently sobbed and prayed waiting for Evan to arrive as we could discuss the next steps. Evan arrived and we took Layton for walk to tell him; it was confusing for a 6 year old. Heck, it was a lot to process as a parent.
Our Dr came back in, luckily he wasn't in DKA so we didn't have to be hospitalized that night but did have to be in Denver by 9 am Saturday morning. Yep, MOTHER of the YEAR had to cancel his birthday party....it sucked for him and me. He has since reminded me frequently how crappy his birthday was and I agree! We did go for pizza and wings with a bonus ceremonial cupcake with 6 candles to top the night off. We shut the lights off while we lit his 6 candles, he devoured and savored the treat right down to licking the cupcake paper clean.
Saturday morning we were in for an early drive to Denver, on the road by 5 not knowing what the day and coming days would hold. We attended class with three other families who had children also diagnosed on Friday, we quickly bonded and became cheerleaders for each other! Saturday was "survival" training. What is Type 1, what is insulin, how do you check blood sugars using a meter, how do you administer insulin, what is glucagon, and the list goes on, in 5 short hours we received an enormous amount of data pertaining to Layton and his new lifestyle! We were then turned loose for the rest of Saturday and Sunday set to return Monday morning for additional classes. The first day we fumbled through, figuring out how to run the meter, administer shots, timing food, new snacks, exercise, playtime, maybe eat a balanced diet (kinda laughable being on the road in a hotel) but we stuck together, bonded and learned together.
Saturday night was the first time Layton had felt full and thirst quenched for a few weeks. Plus he was dry all night long, it was amazing how quick he came around. After the initial tears, meltdown and anxiety of testing and the first shot Layton has been Amazingly strong and positive. he knows the shots help him feel like his old self again. Those first two days our chatty, endless energy, wound up little man came back.
Our journey, our story with diabetes is just beginning. The first few days were a rollercoaster of emotions, we are so extremely blessed by loving, giving, caring family and friends.
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